Potions,Couples, and Pranks
by Scriptor Immortallis
Summary: My first fanfic. LE/SS an alternate scene at the lake. T for mild swearing possible kiss scenes ETC.
1. That day at the lake

**This is my first fanfic and i hope you guys like it. constructive critisism is accepted.**

"All right Snivelly?" James called.

"He had his nose pressed to the parchment. There'll be great grease gobs all over it." Sirius sneered.

"Expel-" Snape tried to say,

"Levecorpus!" James shouted.

Down went Snape's pants revealing graying underpants. Snape inwardly groaned _what would Lily think?_

"Put him down Potter!" Lily demanded.

"Okay." James lifted the jinx and Snape fell.

"I got this Lils." Snape said as he got up.

James kicked Snape and sent him sprawling into the sand. He walked up to Severus as his kick sent him flying into the lakeshore's sand.

"Get up Snivellus." Said James.

"I don't need you to tell me what to do Potter." Snape said with malice.

"Oh, and why not, got Evans to do that?" replied James. "No, because THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!" and with that he kicked Potter into the Lake (AKA Pit of Death).

Back in the castle, he met up with Lily in the Room of Requirement. "You always have to be quoting 300 don't you?" Lily said with a light chuckle. "Yep" said Snape fondly.

-Flashback-

One sunny afternoon in the summer of fourth year Lily and Severus had stopped at the bookstore in Diagon Alley after picking up their books. "300. Sounds like an interesting title." Severus said.

"BOO!" Severus whirled around, and threw the book at his attacker.

"Shit Sev, why'd you have to hit me with a book?!" exclaimed Lily.

"I'm really, really sorry Lily, s-s-sorry." Severus said.

"Snivellus already lost his girlfriend?" Sirius Black said.

"I'M NOT HIS GIRLFRIEND!!!!" Lily screamed.

"Jeez Lily, I guess somebody's pissed off today." Sirius said backing up a few feet.

"Well Black, it's better to be pissed off than to be pissed on. But, I guess you wouldn't know."

With that she stomped on Black's foot. HARD. "OOWWW!" Sirius screamed.

"Be lucky I didn't do more Black, because you'd be jinx and hexed so bad not even your best friends could recognize you." Lily hissed in the most Slytherin-like tone.

-End Flashback-

When Severus and Lily were done panting, they looked around the room.

"Well it seems to be kinda romantic." Lily commented.

In a moment of quick thinking and raging hormones, Severus said: "Shall we have a romantic candle-lit dinner for two?"

"We shall, dearest friend of mine." Lily said silkily.

"Indeed we shall. Hopkins!" Hopkins the house-elf appeared outside of the door and knocked. Lily got up and pulled the door open.

"Hopkins, how nice of you to arrive. Would you like to join us?" Lily inquired.

"Oh no sir and miss. Hopkins is only here to take orders for dinner." Hopkins said with a bow to Severus and Lily.

"Please, Sev? I really want to get to know Hopkins better." Lily said pleadingly.

"Yes, but only if he wants to have dinner with us." Severus said gesturing that Hopkins could come in.

"No. Hopkins will take orders though." Hopkins said in a slightly irritated tone.

"Oh." Lily said put out. "In that case, I'll have roast beef, mashed potatoes, and some pumpkin juice and treacle tart for dessert."

"I will have some spaghetti with meatballs, French bread, and some pumpkin juice as well." Severus said politely to Hopkins.

At the end of dinner, Snape had an idea. And he knew just what to do to get back at Potter, the arrogant toerag.

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**that's the end of the first chapter! please review, Caisic Bage thanks you**

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	2. Sev's First Prank

James Potter woke up, stretched and put on his glasses. Stifling a yawn, he glanced around the room. _I'm in the Hospital Wing,_ He thought. "Madam Pomfrey!" James's call woke the matron, and she bustled right in. "AHHH!" James shrieked, jumping out of bed and running down the halls to breakfast. _My hair's not that bad is it?_ Madam Pomfrey thought.

"What's up James?" Pettigrew asked.

"Madam Pomfrey scared the living daylights out of me." James said with a shiver.

"Why wasn't your animagus form a chicken?" Black asked.

"You idiot" James said, cuffing Sirius over the back of the head. "You want to get caught?" further arguing was halted by a small Pygmy Owl landed in the middle of the table.

"That's Lily's owl. I think she's called, uh, Surlinia?" James said.

The owl acknowledged this with a slight incline of its head and dropped the letter. James ripped it open, and was awash in the smell of flowers, lilies to be exact. He pulled out the letter and read it aloud.

"Dear James. As you know I am a muggleborn. I would like to invite you and rest of the Marauders to a game called spin the bottle. It's a kissing game so I hope my lips get an introduction to yours. I'll meet you guys in the Transfiguration room at 11:00. My friends and I will see you there. Sincerely Lily Evans." James read off.

"Dude, you got the girl." Was heard on all sides. As James skipped off to class, nothing could burst his bubble until:

"Snivellus!" James Potter roared, charging down the hallway.

"Impedimenta!" Snape shouted, not only slowing Potter down but blasting him back a few feet as well. By the time Potter got up Snape was nowhere to be seen. But Snape couldn't hide, because the first class after breakfast was Gryffindor Slytherin potions.

As Severus swept into the dungeon, he had his mind set on what he needed to do. Sitting down at the front center desk, Snape pulled out his potions materials and set them up.

"Lily, I found the charms needed. We should do them after lunch by the lake." Severus said.

"Okay. I've just got to get the bottle." Lily said.

"Quiet down class. We will be making an antidote to the poison I have stored in my desk. You have one hour begin!" Severus and Lily worked reverently on their potions, and at five minutes till, Severus had only to put a bezoar into his potion to finish it up.

"He's going to get something Prongs, I'm going the firework." Sirius said in a hushed tone.

"No, Evans is there, I don't want to ruin tonight." James replied in a whisper.

Pettigrew hadn't heard all of this and threw the firework. "Peter no!" James shouted, jumping in front of the firework. BOOM! The blast sent him flying over Snape's cauldron (lucky for Severus,) and into Slughorn's desk.

"Ouch." Sirius said.

"Pettigrew, detention tonight 9:00, take Mr. Potter to the Hospital Wing. Class you are to bring your antidotes to the front we will test them next time. Avery, come with me." Climbing the steps from the dungeons up to the Great Hall, Snape grinned to himself evilly.

Outside, by the lake after lunch, Severus and Lily were whispering back and forth over a butterbeer bottle. "…… spin…. Kiss…. (laughs)….." When they were rudely interrupted by James Potter "So, Evans, are we still on for tonight?" he said in what was supposed to be a romantic voice. "Yes we are." Lily purred. Oddly enough, Snape didn't seem to be angry at this.

"Cool." James purred back.

The day just couldn't go fast enough for James. History of Magic was even tolerable today because the prospect of kissing Lily Evans was just so exciting. After a grueling Double Diviation, and dinner, The Marauders opened the Transfiguration classroom and sat down around the bottle. The door slammed shut and locked.

"Wha-?" came out of Lupin's mouth, but then bottle started to speak: (Snape, _Lily, _**both**)

"This is Severus Snape, _And Lily_ _Evans, _**and you've been pranked! **So now you've got to play spin the bottle to escape. _The rules are simple, _you spin the bottle, _and the person who spins it has to kiss the person the top points to. _**Laughing manically, don't break the bottle because then you'll never get out. **_Potter, you are too gullible for your own good. Laughs. _**Have a great time!**_"_

**That's chapter two i'll try to make them longer and there is a poll on my profile if you want to vote on the next chapter. i also have a Soul Calibur fanficout and i may have others posted as well. **

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	3. Caught!

**This chapter is dedicated to ReneeTravis who inspired me to post this. Thank you Renee**

"Prongs, I think we're screwed." Sirius said

"Well, according to the instructions we're going to have to kiss each other" Lupin struggled to say. Pettigrew fainted and hit his head on a desk. Black looked sick and Potter was looking real pissed.

"That greasy little slimeball isn't smart enough to prank us! How could Evans do this to me?" Potter screamed at Lupin

"I don't know Prongs, but unless you want to be stuck here we'd better wake up Pettigrew and get this over with" Lupin replied calmly "Agumenti!" he bawled, pointing his wand at Peter.

"Wha- what's going on?" he screamed his limbs flailing everywhere. They all responded by pointing at the bottle that was still standing.

"You know you could have revived him with a different spell Moony. And they say that you're the smart one." Sirius Black said

"Shut up Padfoot." Lupin said.

"Make me." Sirius said.

"I will." Lupin shot back, further enraged.

"Guys, we have to get out of here it's already 12:00." James said, wanting to get some sleep. They sat down around the table, and James spun it. As it landed on Sirius, it took all of one tenth of a second for them to kiss and then run to the trash can and throw up repeatedly.

"That leaves me with you Peter." Lupin said. After a repeat of the same thing, they quickly and quietly moved to go out of the classroom. But the Transfigurations professor thought that it would be a great time to wake up.

"Potter, Lupin, Black, and Pettigrew, what the hell are you doing in my quarters at midnight?!" she shouted at them. "Thought you'd prank the teacher, huh? Well you just got yourselves two months detention. Goodnight."

"Well, why not prank the teacher?" Potter and Black said simultaneously.

* * *


	4. I Think We Broke Snivellus

The next morning, Professor Minerva Mcgonagall walked into her classroom, sneezing uncontorlably. Her brow furrowed, and she sniffed. Once, twice, and deeply the third time, each time puzzling over the slight odor. She wove through the student desks, and sat down at hers, still sniffing. By the time she had her first class she hadn't been able to figure out what it was, but was starting to feel really giddy and a bit loopy. She shook off the feeling that something might go wrong and walked to breakfast, having finished setting up her classroom for the day.

As she walked into the Great Hall, a gang of four boys sat together at the Gryffindor table, heads bowed over a sheet of parchment. The four boys looked up, craning their heads to look at their Transfigurations professor, and then went back to bowing their heads, whispering fiercely.

"Do you think it worked?" the one called Padfoot asked, glancing at the table to watch as she sat down. "It doesn't look like it did." He returned to his bacon, grabbing a nearby tin of syrup and flooding his plate with it.

"Of course it worked," the bookish one said, slapping Padfoot across the back of his head, sending him face-first into his plate, splattering them all with goo. "Look closer, she can't stop bouncing up and down in her seat. It's really slight, but it's there."

The other two, Prongs and Wormtail saw what Moony was talking about and started shaking as they tried to hold back their laughter. When they saw the headmaster lean over and geusture questioningly, they couldn't help it. They burst out into laud guffaws, which were luckily covered up by the arrival of the morning post owls. They sobered up quickly however, when Lily's owl dive bombed them, it's letter stabbing Peter in the eye as it fell.

"Oh Hell no," James said, drawing his wand and pointing it threateningly at the letter, "_Incendio!_" the flames burst forth, leaving little more than a pile of ash and a wicked scorch mark. "The last note she sent…" James trailed off, and all four of them shuddered collectively.

"Let's get to Herbology," Lupin said, standing up and heading back to the dorms. The others left their breakfasts, and Lily smirked behing her morning cup of tea. Today was gonna be good. She caught Severus' eye and nodded her head, before draining her cup and saying good-bye to her friends.

Severus was walking to Herbology when he stopped. He'd been running through a list of things he needed for his classes today, and noticed that he'd forgotten to grab his Transfigurations textbook. Never one to use magic just because he could, Severus checked his watch. He had fifteen minutes; he could totally do this.

He ran, almost sprinting into Hogwarts, his robe billowing behind him impressively. He took the steps down into the dongeons two at a time, and spun mesmirisingly past Lucius Malfoy, who then promptly ran into a wall. A seeming blur across the dank, low-cielinged common room, Snape nearly broke the door to his dormitory in his haste. He Riffled violently through his thiings, finally finding and grabbing his Herbology text.

Checking his watch, Severus blanched, he only had three minutes! Decideing that now was definitely the time to use magic, Snape charmed his bag featherlight and sprinted, chanting a speed spell as he went. Pomona Sprout was about to begin her lesson when then greenhouse door slammed open, admitting a sweaty, breathless, and exhausted Severus Snape. He fell gratefully into the chair beside Lily, who immediately put her impressive spell casting to work. By the time she was done, about 30 seconds later, Snape literaly smelt like a bed of roses, wasn't nearly as hot, and comfortably dry.

"Where were you?" Lily asked as they began feeding their Devil's Hair, a weaker variant of Devil's Snare.

"I forgot-" Snape was forced to stop talking when the plant struck, almost ripping off one of his fingers. He grabbed a nearby hand trowel and began beating the plant into submission.

"Severus Tobias Snape!" Lily hissed furiously, "I cannot believe the nerve of you! You forgot, I'd bet my ass you didn't forget." With the plant situation now under control, Snape turned to Lily, giving her his full attention.

"The plant interrupted me," he started, "I forgot my Herbology text. I had to go get it." He stared into her eyes searching for forgiveness. When he found it, the thin sliver that it was, he smiled. "And by the way, you would've lost that bet."

"No," Lily gasped, her hand flying to her mouth, "Not my wonderful, sexy ass!" Severus sighed contentedly, his Lily was back to her normal self. The rest of the lesson was uneventful, and Severus walked hand in hand with Lily to Transfiguration. The Marauders all saw this, one of the raven-headed ones clenching his hands into fists in anger.

James sat through Transfiguration miserably, not even enjoying how the cat nip they laced Mcgonagall's room with made her act abnormally. He stayed that way through lunch, all the while plotting his revenge, discarding all of his ideas as 'too soft'. But as he walked into his Potions class, the perfect idea hit him. The first thing he saw, besides Horace Slughirn's massive frame, was Amortentia scwraled across the top of the board. He knew he had one shot at getting this absolutely perfect, and partnered with Remmy, which Sirius accepted when he said it was for a revenge pranking.

James strolled out of potions an hour and a half later, very pleased with himself. He gave one of the first years he passed a rakish grin, smirking when she nearly fainted. He raced through secret passages and up flights of stairs, using the Marauder's Map to find the perfect spot for an ambush. While Lily was going to the restroom, James strategically placed himself in an empty classroom, and popped the cork on one of the three extra vials he'd gotten from Potions. Lily never even knew what hit her.

James and Lily walked into DADA, their last class of the day, five minutes late, Both had obvious signs of 'scandalous' behavior all over them. James had lipstick smeared on his face, Lily's shirt was rumpled, as though it had been hastily tucked back in, and both were breathless from their run.

"Potter! Evans! Ten points for each minute you've been late," Professor Jenkins, a former Auror, growled. When James protested, he simply said "Each." Before addressing the class as a whole. "Everyone stand up right now!" He barked, obviously out of patience. "Today we begin a series of lesson on the subject of dueling. Not the fancy competitions you've seen with a judge and a rulebook, but the kind I hope you'll never have to face; Street Dueling." He waved his wand, and the chairs and desks shrunk down to palm size, and were hovered into a wooden box.

"Get up against the wall!" Nobody dared disobey by this point, moving as quickly as possible. "Street Dueling can happen anywhere and at any time. It has no rules, no scores, and no glory beyond the Underground. You'll be placed into teams according to house, so that you'll all have a fair amount of motivation. This will not be like real Street Dueling, but it _will _be as close as I can get. You'll be facing each other one on one, ending in a school wide tournament for a cash prize of 100 Galleons and a very, very nice trophy. Potter! Snape! You're up first for today's demonstration. Let's move it!"

With this he conjured a long deuling platform, and in minutes, Snape was beaten down brutally, not even caring. He got to his feet, and saw that the whole class had turned against him, even her. His face didn't fall, in fact it brightened. He cocked his head to the left, grabbed it, and in two violent twists, cracked it. Then he chuckled darkly, glaring out from behind the curtain of his hair.

"That supposed to scare _**me **_Snivellus?" James said tauntingly, leering at him his arm draped possessively over Lily's shoulder. She made no move to remove it, nor did she wear a look of disgust, but one of pure admiration.

Snape stalked right up to James, making him take an involuntary step back. "By the end of this _**war**_, it will," He hissed, turning on his heel and stalking out.

TIME SKIP

Upon arriving at the library, Snape drifted over to the charms section; specifically looking for books on hair styling, make-up, and space exspansion spells. He ran his firger down the spines of a most of the entire section, finally settling on _Glamorous Glamors _and a supplementary seventh year Charms book. He placed them in his schoolbag and headed for the checkout counter, grabbing a wizarding geneology book on his way out. DADA had been his last class on Friday and he wouldn't have it again until Wednesday.

He spent a good chunk of the rest of his Saturday working on a potion to test for any hereditary magical talents in the dungeons. When it finally came up with conclusive and consistant results, he had learnt that he was a repressed metamorhagus. After a couple minutes of practice, Snape decided that he could hold up a glamour of his current appearance easily, and qwuickly returned _Glamourous Glamours _to the ;ibrary.

When Snape returned to his potions lab, which he'd converted from an abandoned classroom back in first year, he worked precisely, determined to get this potion absolutely perfect on his first try. The potion he was working on was a ridiculously simple one that would counter the block that was suppressing his abilities. He threw up his glamour, and was about to drink the potion when he was struck by one of his most brilliant ideas yet: to create an alter ego.

Over the next three days, he worked ferverishly on his new potion and his new look. He also planned on just how to pull his alter ego off. By dinner on Tuesday, he was ready.


End file.
